Tomorrow is the day! Day 112 that I get to see my husband. Wow what a rush of emotions it should be. Many of my friends have already had their video conferences with their husbands. The reviews have been mixed to say the least. I would be lying if I said I have been excited since I found out I would be able to have one of the coveted 15 minutes spots. Don’t get me wrong, I would have never turned it down and I am enormously grateful. But at the same time I know already how hard it is going to be.
Some people, well, they just don’t get it. I have already been asked 10 times how I could not want to do a cartwheel and scream at the top of my lungs that I was going to have a VTC (video teleconference) with my husband. Well, for one I am wearing a skirt, and 2 it is just plain hard.
You get into a grove when they are gone. It is hard to explain to civilian wives. You know that you love them and miss them when they are away. You think of them all the time. You email or write everyday. But you get use to them not being around. Then they call. The voice on the other end of the phone is delayed but you already know who it is. Your eyes well up, and you wish you had let your child stay up that 30 minutes extra so they could talk to dad. Now what to say? You start with I love you and I miss you because you never know how long the line will last. (for those of you who have never talked to someone on a satellite phone, connections are shotty, they go in and out, and you never know how long the line will last before it gets cut off). You talk a little, then wait for the response, and you do this back and fourth with gaps in between. You both talk over each other at least 2 or three times throughout the conversation because of the long pauses. You basically repeat the same thing that you emailed about earlier that day. The time comes to say good bye and the pain starts all over again. You hang up the phone and you wonder how long will it be before I talk to him again.
Well, multiply that by a million and I am pretty sure that is how I am going to feel tomorrow at 2:45 pm when my VTC is over. I know it will be a wonderful experience and so nice to see him and for Kercher to see him. I am excited for Sailor hubby to see his son. How much he has grown and how much is talking. I am not excited about the pain that I know will come after the video goes away. To see him, yet not to be able to touch him will be hard. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for this part of our life to be over, the only problem is that the light is still very dim and the tunnel very long.
I excited and scared all at the same time. It is so hard to say good bye. It is almost easier not to talk on the phone when they are gone. Not to hear their voice. Email is communication without attachment. The easiest form when you are disconnected from love ones for long period of times. It takes a little while to get over the initial good bye of a deployment. I am just hoping that this one does not start that processes over again. That the pain passes as swiftly as I am sure my 15 minutes will. That the last half of this deployments passes as fast as the 1st. What will make it even harder will be the tears of my son. He already cries when daddy’s book reading video’s are over and those I can restart. How will his reaction be when his dad talks to him, and then we have to leave.
Ahhh, I can feel the dagger in my heart now.
On the bright side what a way to ring in the New Year!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Really, How BLONDE can you be??? December 27, 2008
Apparently, I can be pretty blonde. Even if all the natural blonde in my hair faded about a decade ago, and the bleach is what keeps me out of my mousy hair color. I am definitely a blonde, with really blonde moments.
So my hubby is active duty. He left a few months back with a few months left to go. We have known about this deployment and its “tentative” dates since we reported to this ship over 3 years ago. You get check lists, and reminders. People ask you a million times if you taken care of this or finished that. One of the things at the top of the list. When does your id expire? Well for me, that would be the 9th of this month. Nice one!
You would think that I was a newbie. That this was my 1st cruise. I roll my eyes at these women with their rookie question’s at the spouses support group meetings. Can my husband get a better dinner time? Why can’t I be guaranteed when he will get off the ship? Someone’s sitters, mothers, cousin’s, dad said that I was allowed to call the ship. And so on and so fourth. But really, I let my id expire? What more of a rookie mistake can you make?
I had told Wes before he deployed it was going to expire. I must have told him 100 times. We even went to base to take care of some other forms at Navy legal before he left. As we departed the base we pulled in to PSD to get it renewed. When I said, “Oh no it doesn’t expire till December of ’09, lets not wait lets go ahead and go”. That would be that the id reads 2008Dec09. Guess me and my dyslexic self decided that actually meant 2009.
So needless to say, 1 email to an Ombudsmen, 2phione calls to friends who’s husbands check their emails more often then mine, 1 call to a girl friend who almost had to renew hers without her husband, I think I know exactly what I need to get a new one. Apparently that nice little POA is good for more then just checking my son in at the CDC.
So Wednesday after my video conference with Wes I will take a short little jaunt over the id office and hopefully be told I have everything I need and get a new one. Since nothing in the military works this way, I will not hold my breath!
So my hubby is active duty. He left a few months back with a few months left to go. We have known about this deployment and its “tentative” dates since we reported to this ship over 3 years ago. You get check lists, and reminders. People ask you a million times if you taken care of this or finished that. One of the things at the top of the list. When does your id expire? Well for me, that would be the 9th of this month. Nice one!
You would think that I was a newbie. That this was my 1st cruise. I roll my eyes at these women with their rookie question’s at the spouses support group meetings. Can my husband get a better dinner time? Why can’t I be guaranteed when he will get off the ship? Someone’s sitters, mothers, cousin’s, dad said that I was allowed to call the ship. And so on and so fourth. But really, I let my id expire? What more of a rookie mistake can you make?
I had told Wes before he deployed it was going to expire. I must have told him 100 times. We even went to base to take care of some other forms at Navy legal before he left. As we departed the base we pulled in to PSD to get it renewed. When I said, “Oh no it doesn’t expire till December of ’09, lets not wait lets go ahead and go”. That would be that the id reads 2008Dec09. Guess me and my dyslexic self decided that actually meant 2009.
So needless to say, 1 email to an Ombudsmen, 2phione calls to friends who’s husbands check their emails more often then mine, 1 call to a girl friend who almost had to renew hers without her husband, I think I know exactly what I need to get a new one. Apparently that nice little POA is good for more then just checking my son in at the CDC.
So Wednesday after my video conference with Wes I will take a short little jaunt over the id office and hopefully be told I have everything I need and get a new one. Since nothing in the military works this way, I will not hold my breath!
Dishwasher...Dishwasher...where are you??? December 26, 2008
So Merry Christmas Eve to me! The In-laws came in town. I have 2 sets. I love them both, but in very different ways, as they are very different types of people. I often wonder how they originally got together, the parents of my husband that is. Although I am glad they did, because if not there would be no him...but still for those who know them you often have to wonder...well that is not the point.
The point is...that the In-laws came in town today for Christmas. So thankful to have them here with us while Wes is away protecting the rights of others. When I arrived my father-in-law was in the kitchen messing with my dishwasher.
The dishwasher has been down and broken for oh, I don't know, maybe 8-9 months? Died around March and has been hit or miss with the working thing since then. I have just been doing the dishes and dealing with it until about a month ago. When the washing machine starting having fits, which was just a few days after the grout smell wouldn't wash away, the dogs had eaten the remote, Kercher had dropped a lamp and made some dents on the new hard wood floors, the trap door to the fire place broke, and well, a whole other plethora of crap, and I said I had had enough doing dishes. I was getting the d*mn thing fixed.
So I called The Repair Guy. Literally, that is the name of the company. A nice man named Marcello showed up and fixed the washing machine. There was a whole sock in the drain. Yea a whole navy blue, 6-7 T sock stuck in the drain. And since my husband and I are pretensions snobs when it comes to buying appliances we have the beautiful ridiculously expensive front loading machines that save you a ton of water and electricity but make a major dent in your credit card when you first get them. Since the sock was stuck in the drain the machine couldn't sensor the drain properly and would just cut off. It has worked perfectly since the sock was removed.
Then we move on to dishwasher. I am elated that I may actually have a working dishwasher after the visit by the Repair Guy, but I am sadly mistaken. The control panel on the machine has died. It will be $300 to fix it and you have a $1200 machine. I have a WHAT! A $1200 machine. So I am thinking, well I better fix this thing. I email Sailor hubby and of course hear nothing back. The part has arrived and the Repair Guy will be back in a few days with the part. A few days pass, he comes, opens the part, it is black. All the appliances in the house are bysiek. I am not sure why anyone picks that color. That odd off white color that never really looks clean. But whatever the people who we bought the house from obviously liked them and so we are stuck with it (well we have a white microwave because they don't come in bysiek and luckily you can't tell it is a different color form the oven). So the repair Guys takes out the control panel and tests it out anyway just to make sure that is all that is wrong, and there you go, water in the dishwasher. Ahhhh, I can hear the angels sing. He says he will re-order the part in the right color and I will have it before Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve day comes. No part. The Repair Guy calls. The part did not get shipped. It will be after Christmas. I will be washing Christmas Dinner dishes. Oh the joys. The good news, work is only half a day! So yea! I get off at two, grab the kid and head home to see the in-laws. Bill is checking out the dishwasher and asking me all about it. I felt like I was being grilled or interrogated. Hey, I didn't murder the dishwasher on purpose it just broke! Finally he spills the reason why he is playing 20 questions with me!!! They want to buy me a new dishwasher!
OH MY GOOD LORD! Best GIFT ever! I got a Yurman bracelet from my parents and still told people about my dishwasher 1st! They took me to Lowe's Christmas Eve afternoon and let me pick it out and everything. Like a kid in FAO Schwarz, but for the big people, the section of Lowe's were all the appliances are bright shiny and new. You know you are getting old when you get excited about gifts that plug in. But who cares!
Bill says, don't look at the price! Look at the features! Really! In my head I am thinking you shouldn't tease me you know. My husband has been out to sea for 3 months this is the closest to an orgasms I have gotten in 112 days and yea I am counting!
So I pick one out. The stainless steel version is about $530, I order it in white. The microwave is white. I see a new oven that we can get in white for under $400 and we are taking the fridge with us when we move...so there all the appliances are new now! And no more looks like someone smoked in your house for 40 years. The new one will be in on the 7th of January. Since they only stock it in stainless and black and since I refuse to buy another $250 microwave we will be going with white (plus my house doesn't warrant stainless steal appliances). SO I am beyond excited!
Well today, today I get a call from Lowe's. My new dishwasher has been backordered! I guess more people want white then Low's had anticipated. It will not even arrive until the 27th and then I will have to make arrangements with the installer at that time. So I am bummed. But seriously it has been broken since March/April I feel pretty confident that I can make another month.
The point is...that the In-laws came in town today for Christmas. So thankful to have them here with us while Wes is away protecting the rights of others. When I arrived my father-in-law was in the kitchen messing with my dishwasher.
The dishwasher has been down and broken for oh, I don't know, maybe 8-9 months? Died around March and has been hit or miss with the working thing since then. I have just been doing the dishes and dealing with it until about a month ago. When the washing machine starting having fits, which was just a few days after the grout smell wouldn't wash away, the dogs had eaten the remote, Kercher had dropped a lamp and made some dents on the new hard wood floors, the trap door to the fire place broke, and well, a whole other plethora of crap, and I said I had had enough doing dishes. I was getting the d*mn thing fixed.
So I called The Repair Guy. Literally, that is the name of the company. A nice man named Marcello showed up and fixed the washing machine. There was a whole sock in the drain. Yea a whole navy blue, 6-7 T sock stuck in the drain. And since my husband and I are pretensions snobs when it comes to buying appliances we have the beautiful ridiculously expensive front loading machines that save you a ton of water and electricity but make a major dent in your credit card when you first get them. Since the sock was stuck in the drain the machine couldn't sensor the drain properly and would just cut off. It has worked perfectly since the sock was removed.
Then we move on to dishwasher. I am elated that I may actually have a working dishwasher after the visit by the Repair Guy, but I am sadly mistaken. The control panel on the machine has died. It will be $300 to fix it and you have a $1200 machine. I have a WHAT! A $1200 machine. So I am thinking, well I better fix this thing. I email Sailor hubby and of course hear nothing back. The part has arrived and the Repair Guy will be back in a few days with the part. A few days pass, he comes, opens the part, it is black. All the appliances in the house are bysiek. I am not sure why anyone picks that color. That odd off white color that never really looks clean. But whatever the people who we bought the house from obviously liked them and so we are stuck with it (well we have a white microwave because they don't come in bysiek and luckily you can't tell it is a different color form the oven). So the repair Guys takes out the control panel and tests it out anyway just to make sure that is all that is wrong, and there you go, water in the dishwasher. Ahhhh, I can hear the angels sing. He says he will re-order the part in the right color and I will have it before Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve day comes. No part. The Repair Guy calls. The part did not get shipped. It will be after Christmas. I will be washing Christmas Dinner dishes. Oh the joys. The good news, work is only half a day! So yea! I get off at two, grab the kid and head home to see the in-laws. Bill is checking out the dishwasher and asking me all about it. I felt like I was being grilled or interrogated. Hey, I didn't murder the dishwasher on purpose it just broke! Finally he spills the reason why he is playing 20 questions with me!!! They want to buy me a new dishwasher!
OH MY GOOD LORD! Best GIFT ever! I got a Yurman bracelet from my parents and still told people about my dishwasher 1st! They took me to Lowe's Christmas Eve afternoon and let me pick it out and everything. Like a kid in FAO Schwarz, but for the big people, the section of Lowe's were all the appliances are bright shiny and new. You know you are getting old when you get excited about gifts that plug in. But who cares!
Bill says, don't look at the price! Look at the features! Really! In my head I am thinking you shouldn't tease me you know. My husband has been out to sea for 3 months this is the closest to an orgasms I have gotten in 112 days and yea I am counting!
So I pick one out. The stainless steel version is about $530, I order it in white. The microwave is white. I see a new oven that we can get in white for under $400 and we are taking the fridge with us when we move...so there all the appliances are new now! And no more looks like someone smoked in your house for 40 years. The new one will be in on the 7th of January. Since they only stock it in stainless and black and since I refuse to buy another $250 microwave we will be going with white (plus my house doesn't warrant stainless steal appliances). SO I am beyond excited!
Well today, today I get a call from Lowe's. My new dishwasher has been backordered! I guess more people want white then Low's had anticipated. It will not even arrive until the 27th and then I will have to make arrangements with the installer at that time. So I am bummed. But seriously it has been broken since March/April I feel pretty confident that I can make another month.
Hey Mommy!!! December 23, 2008
Hey Mommy! Hey Kercher. "heheheh" comes from the back seat. Hey Mommy, Hey Kercher. hehehe again. I use to be mommy. Sometimes with a whimper, others with a smile. Now it is more of a sing song of hello's with a HEY in the beginning. I think he has something to tell me or show me. But no, just wants to say hey. I am his personal entertainment.
I have decided that my favorite "hey mommy" comes 1st thing in the morning. He sits up next to me and pokes me in the tummy and says "he mommy" in his little voice, and when I peek out of my eyes he smiles so big. I may wish he would sleep in, I may wish he wasn't up yet, heck I may even wish he was in his own bed, but you can't deny that cute little face looking down at you saying "more milk mommy" and "Einstein". Who needs and alarm clock when you have a living breathing one in bed with you =)
I have decided that my favorite "hey mommy" comes 1st thing in the morning. He sits up next to me and pokes me in the tummy and says "he mommy" in his little voice, and when I peek out of my eyes he smiles so big. I may wish he would sleep in, I may wish he wasn't up yet, heck I may even wish he was in his own bed, but you can't deny that cute little face looking down at you saying "more milk mommy" and "Einstein". Who needs and alarm clock when you have a living breathing one in bed with you =)
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