The Joys of Motherhood

When you are pregnant, everyone tells you all the great stuff that will happen to you when the baby comes! How full of love you will be and the overwhelming since of happiness that will follow the birth of your child. How exciting life will become. And all kinds of other wonderful sediments.

For some reason, everyone leaves out the CRAP! Latterly the crap that comes with motherhood.

Take away the fact that no one tells you what REALLY happens when you get pregnant or have a baby. For some reason everyone who gave birth before the year 2000 LOVED being pregnant. I don’t think until we entered the new century people were allowed to dislike pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, it was amazing to feel my son move, to know that part of my husband and my myself was being made by the miracle of God. But take that away and that was pretty much all I liked! I literally threw up from 7-7 for 9 months, my son dropped in the 4th month and sat head down on my pelvic bone causes major back spasms and emins pain just to walk. For some unknown reason, several of my best friends decided to get married in my last trimester, one I was in the wedding and looked like a Giant piece of brown dog poo, and the other I stepped out sort of last minute, but still went to the wedding. 14 hours in the car 4 weeks before you give birth is HELL on your ankles.

Take pregnancy aside and forgive everyone who lied to you about how wonderful it was or how easy labor was. Because in all fairness, it is totally worth all the pain and suffering. However, I will still cry and call my mom after days like the following.

On Saturday, after a wonderful week long visit from my mom and narnia (which is apparently Kaje’s new name for Aunt Natalee) we drove to the other side of the water to drop them at the airport. Earlier in the day when he woke up he told my mom and I he was sick. Well seeing as he is 2, we just shrugged it off. Kids his age learn new words and want to use them all the time, yet don’t always use them in the right context. Case-n-point this week his thing has been to tell you “I not done” yet he will hand you and empty yogurt, or not have been doing anything at all. So, I head off to work that morning and my sister and mom pack up, straighten the house, and get ready for me to get home. We are going to take Kaje to the new Jumping place by the house (one of those indoor inflatable play parks, super fun). They had taken him earlier in the week and wanted to take him one more time before they left, and since their flight wasn’t till late we figured we would go on over. He played, but not as hard as he usually does. After about 45 minutes he came up and climbed in my lap and put his head on my chest, something my child NEVER does. We figured he was just tired from a long week of playing hard all day with my sister and staying up till 10 pm. So off to the airport we went.
We made it through the tunnel in record time and decided to get some dinner before heading to the airport. We drove around for a few minuets to see what was in the area before deciding to eat at Ruby Tuesday. Maybe not the best food, but there is never a wait and we could get in and out pretty quickly. Just as we u-turned (yes that is legal here in VA) to head back to the restaurant I see projectile vomit spewing from my child. All over my sister, all over himself, all over the truck. I am in the far left lane of a 5 lane road. I am screaming at my sister to get him out of the car seat. My son has a record of chocking on everything and I can see his face is turning the purply red color it gets when he is chocking (yes this is a regular occurrence which is why when we have baby sitters he is not allowed to eat anything while we are gone). My sister is screaming that she can’t because the car seat buckles are too tight, well hello I don’t want him flying out of the seat if we get in an accident. Like any normal mother with a chocking child in the back seat I am rolling down widows flagging people to get out of may way, honking the horn, slamming across 5 lanes of traffic as quickly as I can. Pull in the 1st parking lot I can get the vehicle in, slam it in to park and have me kid out of the car seat, flipped upside down, in a matter of minuets. Forget the fact that I too am now covered in vomit. Once we are breathing again, we are vomiting again. Just our luck we are in a Target parking lot. Natalee runs in to get herself and my son some new clothes, my mom goes into the Taco Bell for some garbage bags ( to bag all the clothes up), I strip my kid and his car seat of pretty much everything they have on and get to whipping things down with whatever I can find, plus wipes. Oh the joys. After everyone is cleaned up and changed we of course decide against dinner and head to the airport. Since we still have over an hour and a half till their flight leaves we decide we will grab something to eat at the dinner inside. I drop mom and Natalee at the door to get checked in and Kaje and head to park. Once we get in and order he turns to me and says, Mommy I pee pee. Ok, I say back. We are potty training so he likes to tell you a lot he has gone to the potty when he hasn’t or when he doesn’t need to, plus we are in a diaper so I am not too concerned. Well, I should have been. Then he looks and me and says, Mommy I yucky. Well this means poo, yes all the crap I was telling you about =) Well, lucky for me my mom forgot to put the wipes should used to clean his tennis shoes back into the diaper bag, then my child gets up ( he was playing on the side of the table that had a little bench in it and looking at all the airplanes) and he is socked. The new clothes are covered in pee, and what I guess is poo, but is defiantly yucky. So off the the bathroom we go.
Thank God for the new Family restrooms. At least when you are un prepared you can hid yourself from rolling eyes of others. I basically stood my child in a sink in the bathroom and washed him down. Put on a clean diaper and sat him in the stroller with his blankest wrapped around his legs so you didn’t know he wasn’t wearing any pants. Lucky for me we made it home before any more vomiting or explosive diapers, but the weekend was full of them.

On a side note. I will say that this was the 1st time EVER I was not fully prepared! My friend Amy has always made fun of me and my diaper bag which is usually loaded down with extra everything! I will now be going back to that. Even though it is bulky and annoying, at least I will have supplies!